Eight Reasons to NOT go to bed mad with those you love
We have all been there. Fighting with your girlfriend, spouse, family member. You don’t want to give in. You really wish they would see your point. It doesn’t matter if it’s something little like how they make orange juice or something huge like infidelity, putting it to bed before you go to bed has its benefits. Obviously it is going to be harder to settle something like an affair but if you start with the end in mind, with the idea that you aren’t going to bed until the matter at hand is tucked in then you will possibly see a few of the following benefits.
You and your loved ones will sleep better
Trying to go to sleep with an argument continuing to play itself out in your head isn’t good for anyone. Most likely you will lay there in bed tossing and turning, playing out the things you should have said, the things you want to say. It’s going to keep you up and it is probably keeping your loved one up as well. We all know getting a good nights sleep has its benefits. Being well rested has you feeling better the next day with more emotional reserve. We are more productive when we are well rested and we get more done. So don’t turn off the lights just to lay there under the blankets. Talk it out until the issue is settled.
What if you don’t wake up?
I know that’s a little morbid but the truth is we don’t know what tomorrow holds. Today could be your last and it would be terrible to have an unsettled argument with someone you love as the last things you said to each other.
Take care of painful things now
It isn’t going to get any easier. In fact the longer you wait the more time the other person has had to contemplate and stew on the issue. The deeper the damage goes with the longer you wait.
If its not put to bed now it will probably resurface
You can try to ignore the issue, sweep it under the rug and hope it goes away. But until you deal with it the right way it is going to come back. Take care of those close to you the right way. Talk to them and take their concerns to heart. Deal with the issues now. Even if you sweep it under the rug with intention of going back and cleaning up the pile of junk later you probably won’t. Little bits of trash will find their way out to clutter up your life here and there. And say you finally decide to deal with it…Well by then the dirt and grime has been ground into the carpet and that’s never coming out all the way.
Your loved ones will feel better and more loved
Your spouse or significant other will see that you are trying. The will recognize that you want this to work and that you are making efforts and as a result they will feel more loved.
You will be less distracted tomorrow
We have already discussed how going to bed mad will probably affect your sleep but it doesn’t stop there. If you are mad when you go to bed you will probably be mad when you get up and that is going to affect your day tomorrow too. You will be distracted, less focused and less present in whatever it is you have to do tomorrow. You will continue to stew on what is bothering you. Maybe you have a presentation tomorrow. It is going to be hard to focus on giving that your all if you are still upset with your lover. How can you give your work your all if a big part of you is still wrapped up in the disagreement from last night?
Its probably silly anyways
Lets face it, most of the things we get upset about are really silly. Especially when you think about who you are getting upset with. You are getting mad at someone that loves you. You know how imperfect you are, they aren’t perfect either. We all make mistakes. All your flaws and this person that you are fighting with loves you. Just accept that they love you and you love them and focus on that. Don’t worry about winning the fight. Think about how you can love that person, how you can show it. Think of the awesome things they have done for you and think of what you can do for them.
Forgive them
Sometimes this is really hard to do. Even if its forgiveness for something little it takes a lot out of us. You feel hurt, betrayed. Maybe they hurt you on purpose, maybe it was an accident. It doesn’t matter to you, all you know is you are hurt and they did it. But in this situation there is no moving forward until forgiveness. Until you forgive them you will go to bed mad. It is all in your hands. You can cling to your anger and hurt and feel justified in it or you can let it go forgive them and try to move forward.